Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The falling star..

5:45 a.m..

It was chill chill..freezing cold..the sun had not risen, and it was still dark..
I was walking from the basement of another building, towards my office..
as I approached my building, i just glanced at the sky for a moment..it was still starry..as starry as midnight..
The twinkling stars at once, caught my attention..
felt like gazing at the sky for a while..
i was randomly looking at the stars that were shining at different intensities
and all of a sudden, I got a gut feeling tat some spectacle was gonna happen in the sky...
with an impulse, i turned back and looked upwards.......
lo and behold!
..a  falling star....

A beautiful sight..early in the morning..an awesome feeling..

Have a beautiful day!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

6 scenes shot, in a day!

Who wrote this story...??...


Scene 1: The Unknown state of mind!


14:00 hours..in her cubicle....

She was nervous. Clearly, nervous! She never understood what had gotten the good off her, since the past few months...

She had her dance audition on that day, in her office. This was for a performance in an upcoming Staff party. The cribbing of lonely feeling just got heavier into her head on that day. She couldnot show her excitement to the people sitting around her; neither could she express her nervousness to anybody. The struggles by this one-year-ago-college-pass-out-just-6-months-in-IT being hired amidst the seniors-with-3-6-years-experience in the corporate were just too cranky! Lotsa gaps and differences!

'I wish they were here with me, atleast today' - she thought. Unable to control the uneasiness anymore, she purposely yelled at her teammates - 'm missing my college friends'. No response. As expected! [A guy from the other cubicle was kind enough to give her a smile. He'd gone so deep inside his system monitor, that the the gal's loud note had just woke him up!].

'y so?' - asked the guy sitting next to her (thank god! atleast somebody responds!).

'cz this is the first time i am gonna dance without them around', (she knew that that was a meek reason, but then that was the fact!)The guy never made sense of what she'd just told. 'Dont worry. Just give in your best'. She thanked him...

Immediately, she updated her status on facebook to this - "What do u do, when u are nervous and u dont have anybody around, to assure you that things are fine..." - that was the last and the only way to let out her feelings...to let her friends know, how she was feeling at the moment!

[... .Ever since she'd joined her second company, she'd been missing her old friends, PEOPLE. Felt lonely a lot. This was hardly the case in the place where she worked previously, where she'd made the best of pals! The coffee breaks, snack breaks,lunch breaks, the huge gangs - everything used to be just fun. Whereas here, everything was anything else - but fun! Music, work and her own company - were the things she enjoyed the most here, more than the breaks!...]

******
The Auditions were scheduled at another location of the Company, a few kms away from the place where she was working.
******

Scene 2: A new friend, has come...:), 




Audition Hall: 16:00 hours...

Here too! She knew nobody! She was just sitting at a corner..all by herself..

[...It was only her passion for dance, that had brought her here.she'd never thought of the mental turbulence that she might get into, handling all the things by herself. She'd never thought how lost she would feel, amidst the bunch of new people. She never knew she would get soo nervous, at the thought of performing infront people she had never known (perhaps, would never know!) Despite her age, she was still a kid! She knew that! For a moment, she just felt like quitting and fleeing home! ...]

With great difficulty, she collected her thoughts..and desparately started waiting for three things to happen!

1:   A 'friend/companion' whom she could relate to! (something which looked next-to-impossible to happen!)

2:   The show to begin.

3:   Her turn. (this was what she had come for. Her restless was growing exponentially with time, and she just wanted to finish off her performance and run away from there.) Not that she was not prepared for the dance. Infact, she had put her sweat and blood for it, in the last 2 days. But this place, just seemed to throw a lot of negative energy around her. She was too uncomfy. Moreover, she hadnt had any food after the brunch early in the afternoon! ..and that just added to her distress.

16:30...

The show began(not with a bang though!). The performances went on..one by one.

Back there, at the dressing room - she started singing the song for which she'd practised her performance. This was the first time ever, that she took care of the entire jig all by herself - right from choreography - to the costumes - to the make up..in n out of it!And she had nobody around to tell her if she was doing it the right way or what!

'You gonna sing this song, is it?' - she got startled. Another participant had just entered the dressing room.

'No - m gonna dance! Just that i couldnot rehearse, and i left my mobile phone at my colleague's desk..dont have the song right now with me.. so m recollecting the steps by singing it!..what about you? - she asked the gal who now stood next to her.

'M gonna sing this song' - she played a kannada song in her mobile phone. 'have you ever heard it?'

'Umm..nope! but sounds good..do you have a karaoke for it?'

'Nooo..thats what i am worried about' - with a nervousness similar to the other girl, who had had a horrible time so far! Trring trring..the singer's phone rang, and she started talking over the phone.

The other girl got busy with dressing herself up, humming the song for which she was gonna dance!

'what's your name' ? -to the chap, who had just finished talking over the phone.

'Arpana.. Whats yours?'

'Deepika...' , and both of them exchanged smiles.

'Seri, could you please listen to my song while you are applying that make up on you.. And tell me how was it...? m getting nervous...'

'So am I ! chalo..sing..dont get nervous...' [this was one thing Deepika loved to do! Motivate and pacify others, even if she herself was in a deep shit!]

Busy as she got, with her own stuff, and with no clue as to what the other girl was singing; she just pretended to be listening. Nevertheless, the singer cared a damn of whether she was being heard or not! Both were concentrating on their respective mirror images! The former (quite understandable) with her make-up for the dance; the latter - just looking at her image and singing to herself!

'Brilliant! You sang well..indeed!' - Deepika was just done with her make up, and was all set for the dance.

'Classical dance aa?' - asked Arpana.

'Wow..does it look so?' - asked Deepika , with a genuine smile on her face (the FIRST smile of the day for her!). 'Its actually a semi-classical..few bollywood steps and very little classical' - she added with full excitement!

[...She was overjoyed now For the first time, she managed to pull it off, all alone - Dress up according to the dance! Of course, this costume was just a tentative one, for the sake of auditions. But then, she DID manage it all alone! [Just a year ago, the story was entirely different, where she had her friends go wild at her, with her disastrous costume ideas for the same dance..and the last-minute hallahooo that she had caused! Of course, this time she was being extra careful with everything. No friends around...means no back up..means no chance for last-minute goof ups!]...]

'Yeah..u look in perfect outfit for that form of a dance' ..

There was a brightness in Deepika's face! Something that had been missing for a long time now!

'Shall i show you few steps here itself? i know the lyrics..ll sing and dance'

'Sure!..even m curious to see what you gonna do with that costume!'

*****few steps with the song****


'ivalo expressions irukku la..podhum..vaa polam..else we miss out our turns' [This much of expressions is sufficient. come lets go..else we miss out our turns] – and Arpana started packing Deepika’s bag.


'chalo chalo chalo...lets go' – Deepika, in her typical jab-we-met style.

      ..thus, in a couple of minutes, each had got a new companion in the other, the only cheer-leader, for the day....something which she had thought almost impossible to happen..birds of the same feather, flock together!


Scene 3: The Performance! Breathless! (A kiddie in the biggie-wiggies' world!)

Audition Hall:

Host: Do we have Deepika Iyer in the hall?’

[This was limits! Insult! Throughout the show, she d been sitting right behind the same guy! She had reached there with her new friend, well in advance. Just an hour ago, she d gone to the same guy, to ask about her turn. And this ass on the stage asked, if she was present there or not! Never mind. Performance matters!]
She deligently raised her arm (like a school kid giving attendance), with a strange expression on her face [She looked as lost, as confused the host looked. ‘Is this tiny girl an EMPLOYEE? – he must have thought!)
Host:

“Okay, may I have Deepika Iyer on stage please” [with absolutely no ‘welcoming’ feeling, no smile, no made-up josh as he’d done till then. Looked more of a just-did-what-he-was-supposed-to-do types..!]
Music started….

Koi jo mila toh mujhe, aisa lagta tha jaise, meri saari duniya me, geethon ki ruth aur rangon ki barkha hai……..

..and she swayed to the music..completely immersed in it…

Nothing was in her mind, except for the dance and the song

3 minutes of performance got over…

The audience which were howling, shouting and enjoying the jhatka-matkas of zandu balms and ringa ringas (which were overloaded)..till the last performance, now had turned completele mum..which meant either of the following 2:

1) It was too bad to be taken by them.

2) It was too good, that it had left the crowd speechless! [of course, this was not the same old zandu balm or a ringa ringa jig! The girl had NOT come here to become an item girl and show some cheap jhatka-matkas to the frustrated corps'es! She had come here to DANCE..to perform!]

…..pyaar ki yaaden hai, main hun aur khoye huye pyaar ki yaaden,


Main hun aur khoye huye, pyaar ki yaaden hain


Huff……

……And before she could get up and thank the audience, there was a huge round of applause! She had just done it! And more than happy, she felt...RELIEVED!…

***************

Scene 4: The result!

She really couldnot figure out the reason for the audience being too silent during her performance. And she really needed some assurance (which she did not get till the end).

Post her performance, few people, came up to her..gave tips for the costumes, for the main performance (confident on her, that she would surely get through). The best compliment she’d got for the day was, when a lady came to her and told her that her dance was ELEGANT, and the EXPRESSIONS just made that more beautiful (the two words felt as beautiful!)! Though her new friend congratulated her and assured her that she would get selected, somewhere in the core of her heart, she knew that she wouldnot make it..ONLY because this was not a regular zandu balm move!

..And she was right! She DIDNOT get through...(her gut feelings never 'gave hand' to her till date!)

..What she'd thought was impossible to happen, ended up seeing the light-of-the-day, in an unexpected way! And what people thought would happen (she too wished it would), never actually did!

...She came out of the Audition Hall - with a new person in life n a bag full of compliments on one hand...and a pinch of disappointment on the other!...


Scene 5:The climax




Around 19:30 hours (post the auditions, back to office-mode)..inside the campus..

She took a walk around the beautiful shopping area, that was right outside her office building..within the same campus. The teddy-bears were waiting for her glance, at the toy-store. She admired the soft-toys for a while from outside the store. Wished somebody gifted that to her, right at that moment..and pacified her from all the turmoil she'd been through, the entire day..

After few minutes of peace and self-consolation, and a chat with her brother; she regained her peace of mind!

At the entrance of the building (where her desk was located) - 'Hi' - to this guy whom she was always curious to talk to since the day she saw him [more  on this, in some other post ;) ]. Another good thing happening in the day(evening, to be specific)!

She went back at her desk, all silent and pretending-composed, as if nothing had happened.

Turned on the music, in her new walkman mobile phone...

She smiled to herself, when the words  'la la la la life is Crazayyyy......' played in her ears. Life indeed had been crazy on that day!...The song had become one of her life-mantras since that day

............
Scene 6: EOD! (End of Day!)


...back at home...

She checked her facebook account, to see if anybody'd commented on her status. Bingo! People did! that was enough to convince her that she was not alone.they care...

It was yet another colorful day, but that of the 'lesser bright shades'...


***


Epilogue:

'...What was that!' - she woke up with a wave of energy. Did yesterday just pass? 'yeah - its gone forever...!' - said to herself..Thanks heavens!

'Wake up, Deeps...else m gonna have breakfast without you' - shouted her sister.

 'How many times do I ask you to clean your wardrobe and the book shelf.. get up you lazy bones!' - mom.

'Good morning deary..done with your sleep? time to get up' - dad.......

And a lot of sms'es from friends on the mobile phone..one of them read, 'dont think about yesterday's thing anymore...they dunno the meaning of dance!'..[SALUTE to the sender]..!:D

A new day had arrived! Another colorful day...

.........of  what kind of shades ? - was a challenge she had to explore.........

----
 ....Coz the shades of blues,
     and those lesser bright,
     are too, but a part of
     the pure white light.........

insha allah..this story will have a sequel..but after a year...



Cheers,

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Fed up of pretending like a grown-up!



     What (psychologically) makes you feel grown-up? Your age (definitely NOT)? Your achievements? Or when you just admire a bunch of kids playing around, from a distance, without being a part of them? Or when you start taking up responsibilities? What kind of responsibilities makes you feel grown-up then? Then what if, you had taken the REAL responsibilities of life at a very young age(at your teenage), and still manage to protect the moron in you and let it out (as sort of a  balancing act)..and let the moron in you play to such an extent, that people don't even imagine you as being Sensible! BLAH! 

     Your once-upon-a-time talkative, chirpy being takes a forced break; and turns into a silent, an over-thoughtful soul. You choose Not to laugh at a stupid guy's PJs (which confirms he/she is a fool) and silently smirk at the really funny things going on around. You are a part of a bunch of Sophisticated people whose sophistication gets you so-PISS-ticated! The cubicles and the lifeless bums parked inside them look funny from a distance; and the fact that you too are a part of the lot makes it even funnier. You laugh at your own life. And if this kind of boring life is called 'growing up', then puh-lees..GIMME a Break!! I would love to live my life as a kid, until the end!

    There were times, when exactly '3 idiots' took care of every small thing of mine. Each thought of mine was taken care of, every little mistake was rectified, every kiddish-naughty act was laughed away! They took care of my choices. All of my weaker points were balanced out by them. There was this shameless flirt in me - always hyper enthu, hyper active (which is sleeping currently)!. The story Now is totally different altogether. Ishan Awasthi (TZP) was right - 'jo dikhta hai woh hota nahi, jo hota hai woh dikhta nahi'.Being treated like a kid, always felt good, felt like you were protected from all of the insecurities that lay in the outside world. Being treated like a totally independent adult feels sick (when you know tat u still need a company to march forward, and that you are not as independent yet, as you are assumed to be!)

      A sudden transition from being called 'bachchi, putta, mari' to 'akka, madam' is equally confusing (i know! the stmt looks funny. But it aint as funny as it sounds. bhavnaaon ko samjho)!! Are you still a kid? or a grown up already? The sudden state of calmness, sensiblity (which comes from nowhere [however you read it]). On one side, you are pampered the way you like to be pampered; by your near and dear ones. On the other side you are a part of (though not involved in) immature, rubbish politics around you (which proves that you are not the only moron existing on earth!). You are a completely different being 9/5! And the next 24/2 you come back to your true being. And the cycle continues...


     Confusion gets even deeper, when you have really lost interest in whatever would look exciting for an early 20s. INo hang outs. Dont want to get committed to anybody. Free from having crushes .No flirting around anymore (gone saturated, not interested in all of these - atleast for a while now!). Family - takes the topmost priority in my life now. My dreams - the next (there's a list of things i that I wanna achieve, insha allah, i achieve all of them:)). There was this horrible week in the month of October that I went through! Nevertheless, that one particular week ended up making me a little more stronger and calmer person. Things have turned so much head over heels. There is this bunch of people, who would never even imagine me as being 'silent, calm and composed' (cz they ve always seen a hyper-active and a super-excited swa around them); and there s the other bunch of people who wouldnot believe that I would be as naughty as I explain them about myself (m literally a boring, alive corpse in front of them - I chose to be tat way!)! Toggling between extremes, is never too easy! I still feel like dancing, jumping around, singing out loud (all of these I dont even EXPRESS any more!just let these feelings let be inside me). Even when i think of venting out all of my frustrations somewhere; some unknown calmer force takes over my state of mind - slashes all of these mixed feelings and gives me a feeling of assurance - that 'things are goin on fine - the way they have to be'!




    Matter-of-fact, its been almost 6 months,since I made any 'new friends' as such (just adding people on fb doesnt mean that you have earned real friends!). Yes, acquaintances and colleagues have happened - quite a lot! Partly, I am to blame for that as well. I never approached people I would like to, neither did I encourage people who came to me - to take the next step(of making freindship!)!. I didnot feel so, coz my conscience didnot let me do that (else, its never difficult for a Saggi to socialize). Off late, I have just gotten too evaluative of people. I havent had a hearty laugh (except for once), in my new aapice!  There's this one team which I call 'hosanna' gang, with whom I enjoy the silent communication (each one is a nut like me!) (but still wondering if I should go ahead and talk to them! I would burst out laughin the moment i talk to them; which i clearly donot want to - for some reason which i wouldnot want to write here B-) )


     Well..the whole idea of writing this post was basically - NOTHING! Just that I have been handling a huge number of mood swings all around me (ironically from people who are elder than me! a few whom i looked forward to learning new things), since a couple of months. Are grown ups naturally like that??gloomy? Or is it ma fate, that i have come across only such kinda ppl off-late?? Things have been happening totally opposite of what i expected them to be! And that has made me look at things with a neutral point of view. In the process, I think I have become a super-sensible person(yeah..exaggeration cz m totally opposite of what this term could possibly mean!). But then,m just fed up of behaving like a grown-up. Yet, things force me to be so! I dunno if this phase is really making me grow up. I can feel the struggle, yet i cannot do anything about it; but to face it! I dont loaf around, I dont utter nonsense, I dont blabber, I refrain myself from cracking out spontaneous remarks (all of these which were my traits once-upon-a-time) [off late, i do all of these only with my very close friends, not any new people that i met in past few months! On the flipside, I ve stopped these things with a few other friends as well!] . dunno if m just getting lazier day by day, or are these signs of really growing up! There have been a handful of people, who have kept the same-old real swathi still alive in me:) and i thank them. KE5, jenny and a few others. tonnes of  mmua mmua to them:-*




And a mix of following songs perfectly make the current theme of my life -


1) taare zameen par - title track
2) One love - blue
3) I m with  you  - Avril Lavinge
4) So no one's told you , life s gonna be this wayyyyyyyy..............




and to cheer myself up from this chaos -- I enjoy the following songs:


1) Vishnu Sahasranam, Bhagvad geetha, Bhaja govindam, hanuman chalisa
2) Enthiran songs
3) Kabhi kabhi aditi, hai junoon, ashayen, wake up sid
4) a list of Tamil songs (new as well as old Mgr ka songs)
5) the list of 247 songs loaded into my brand new mobile - (my only 'friend' in my 9/5 hourse B-))




  This one's for you, folks - back to statement 1- "what really makes you feel that you are a grown up??"...


AARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH X-(..need an answer:(:(


anyways, Cheers to this mixed emotions!    ...


P.S. - This post would look confusing, but ppl who know every color of mine, would understand what m i trying to say:)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A dream-come-true

     Really dunno where to start from; what to say first! It's been quite a while since i wrote anything here! Lots happened, just that i got too lazy to sit and type my mind out! But I had to write about this! My 'almost-first-time' visit to Tirupathi!

    Not many noticed, but just a few days ago, there was a staus msg on my Facebook account saying this : The last time i visited Tirupathi was, 20 years ago!... I was hardly 3 yrs old then! It was for getting my head shaved (a religious custom for us). They say that the sanctum is not just-another temple. The Lord  himself has to invite you to give you his darshan. I believed all of them, and with reasons. I had seen many meticulously made-plans of visiting there, fail in the last  moment; and many unplanned visits successfully accomplished too! Me, being a strong 'timing-matters' believer!

     It was a dream knitted by us - siblings; to visit the place with parents (for the first time). The dream strengthened over the last few years, when things went terribly haywire! Strengthened to such an extent, that we did not mind NOT visiting it for lifetime(even though its a family-deity); if it was Not with parents for the first time! Yeah...did invite criticism and oppositions, when we Refused few offers we got with friends and relatives (one is Not supposed to deny a visit to Tirupathi - another Common belief); but we did not really bother! Even off-late we siblings have been facing, made fun of; for being Brahmins and NOT being able to visit the place for years together (parents did visit quite a couple of times). But as said, we stuck to our dream; and did not want any low-life to mess with it. Dismissed all of them, because poor things were ignorant about the bigger picture of it! We must let few things happen by themselves. (Guess SOMEONE UP there was really listening to us, and counting our thoughts seriously!).

     ***************************************************************

      So, finally; after 2 decades; the plans were made and we were invited for a visit the place by a friend named Venkateshwara! All said and done! Call it a co-incidence, or a miracle, or whatever! It was a positive sign of  our dream coming true...

     ***************************************************************

     The trip:

03nd Sept, Friday - 04 Sept (midnight):

  Our group of around 13 people; from Kadapa, reached Tirupathi at around 3:15 in the noon. It's become usual in my life! meeting new people and touring around with them. Ditto, the family friends were kind of New people in our life, and we had really struggled with broken telugu, and made-broken english; to converse with them!(Dad was at his best! he knows telugu!). Other than that, it was fun, fun, and fun.

     When everybody chose to climb the hill, instead of taking a bus; i too gave in!( i dint mind even going by bus, but majority won!) Like, i said; we had never experienced such a visit, just heard of them ; I wondered what was so much hype about the temple, and why people took so much of hardships for a few seconds of darshan! Didnot ponder about it, because i was enjoying the climb! Of course, the huge crowd of 13 made it fun and easy-going. (Ideally it should take you around 2-3 hours to clime the hill; but we took 5 hours. we had all the time on earth, FOR the mother earth;)) It was fun, shouting out loud slogans of GOVINDA, GOVINDA (I would never miss an opportunity of howling and shouting out loud). And then I had this encounter with my best friend (a monkey:P), at the mid-way (Just that I had forgotten that I was carrying a bunch of chocolates happily in my hands, and did not share it with them!); which had become a joke for the evening! Phew. Never ever seen a monkey thaat close to me!

     I loved the fact, that almost throughout the climb, I was holding dad's hand (something which is really special to me!). And so, distance did not really matter.... It was around 8:15p.m, when we reached the last step. And an hour later, reached the destination...

     After freshening up and then dinner, we started towards the main temple, for darshan. It was around 11:00p.m. Heard the guard at the entrance say that we would get darshan in just an hour! Rushed towards the queue. We aren't super-humans, and I admit that we were weared out, after those long hours of walk. Plus this crowd for darshan, made me finally ask mom as to why people struggle so much to get just a glance of the deity. "Nambike (belief)" , was the reply! I was almost there, and I just got more curious. To be frank, more than bhakti, I had a curiousity to see what was soo powerful about the place!

      As we moved nearer to the garbhagudi (shrine), my curiosity just grew more and morre...Until I had the first glance of the deity. Complete transformation! I donot know how to express what was my state of mind then. All i know is that i'd gotten the answers to all my questions, in just a single glance!

     A strange happiness, a spirit - grew out from nowhere. There was smile, some enlightened feeling. And despite my height, I was able to view the deity from a distance! I would not say that suddenly i grew taller, or i was walking on air! Thats what i call Supernatural calculations. Right timing! Strangely, nobody pushed me! And I was allowed to stand there for a while to get a full-fledged darshan; without asking anybody, with nobody bothering me! The crowd behind me was moving at its pace, me at my own! Do I call it my luck? or a reward for a wait for these many years? One thing is sure! This place carries LIFE, from eons of ages! Saturday had just dawned, it was 12:10 a.m, when we came out after the darshan.. enlightened! (just FYI, Saturday is considered an auspicious day for Lord Venkateshwara). The siblings' dream had just come true...!!:)

    Still the body ache was there, parallelly the enlightenment feeling. While everyone made plans for the next day; I had decided that this was not enough for me! I just got greedy, and I wanted to have another darshan.....


04 Sept, Saturday 2010 noon:

     Venki (the one who invited us), myself and 2 of his friends (Raghu and Hari annas); started for the second-time darshan. This time, the darshan was expected to take a good 3 hours of time. (Saturday , VIP visits etc etc). But we were prepared for that. As said earlier, we had all the time on earth to spend. Standing in lengthy queue for such a long time, never felt so comfortable and easy! Also, Hari anna was up with the mythological stories about the place; which helped us pass time. Interesting as they were, they made me believe in them! And then the broken-Telugu, made-broken english and Hindi; just made the conversations lively and interesting:P. And in the mid-way, I remembered my visits to Puri Jagannath and Palani too...

     The second-time entry to the garbhagudi(shrine), was equally enlightening! This time, twice darshan. Don't ask me how; I was just lucky to have a second look. Once again, right-timing! Came out completely satisfied, and happy. Only shedding a drop of tear was left out (which I didnot!)...and there - began my visit to the Tirupathi...


     ***************************************************************

     So, that was pretty-much about my 'almost-first-visit' to Tirupathi. One visit-thrice darshan WAS a good deal indeed! A dream-come-true. It was a fulfilling experience - of the divine, of the sanctity that the place holds. All of which looked worth the 2 decades of wait; worth the long hours of walk.

     Must say, that Tirumalai Venkateshwara is Not a mere-earthling. It's a piece of 'The Cosmic Energy' , a slice of 'Heaven' - just existing on earth...

     Just hope and pray, that the other visits to any holy shrine henceforth,  be equally good ;):)...


Cheers,
  

  

  
     

Friday, July 30, 2010

mai and meri tanhai..aksar dinner karne aa jate hain!

   To begin with, let me tel u that....

    The following 2 lines best describe the current theme of my life:

     "manzil nayi hai, anjaana hai kaarvaan,
          chalna akele hai yahaan......":) 


   If you have a track of my life (i know that i have been absconding from the public-eye for a while now),then you must have come across  a lot of statements from me like --:'i dont have company yaaar' , 'm taking time to adjust', 'mai aur meri tanhai, canteen me soup peene aa gaye'...and blah  blah blah...!

    Well, this post is one of those 'mai and meri tanhai...series...';)   (don't wonder about the rest, you wont find them at this site!They are safely treasured in a book:P)

     I have been a 'lone - bird' for a while now in my new company (for  how long would i be so, i dunno!), struggling to get a friend for having even a cuppa coffee! Ok, before i start cribbing here, let me get into the point:

    Consider the reference time as 9:30 p.m, and the date is Wednesday 28th july, (thats when i started penning down this post!)

--------------------------------------------------

    Its my 1:00 - 10:00 p.m shift and,
    Just an  hour ago, this happened:

     Me tooo hungry and i dont have anybody to accompany me for dinner! Care a damn about it, coz hotte(stomach) is empty! After asking (for formalities' sake) everybody around me, whether they wud like to join me for dinner(as expected, just another vain attempt!), I run to the bay (an area full of eateries) all alone, to fill my stomach..(company doesNOT matter, at times!)

    I go this counter (fuggot the name, but its a north indian restaurant ka counter), and order a plate of chapathi and subzee (looking at the rates of it, i thought that was sufficient to fill me!)

    Alas! finished the stuff  like - in a jiffy (hardly 3 mins!); and still pet me chuhas doing world war :(. Wondered whether it was really chapathis that i had, or some cotton-mithai! [40 bucks Washte]

   Still not satisfied, I just roamed around to check out what is available at which counter!as if  i was treasure - hunting!(actually, it WAS, really a TREASURE hunt!)

   Didnot take too long, i found a counter with something like'south indian' and  'meals' written on 2 different boards! What a relief! whatever the food is, i was sure of getting atleast a handful of curd-rice! Lo and behold!

'mini meals - 40 rs'    - says one of the menu boards!

...forgetting about the price, asked the counter fella about the the content of the mini-meals. Hungry that i was, nothing went into my head; except the mention of 'curd rice' from him! 'One mini-meals kodi, swalpa bega' (i did utter the last 2 PRECIOUS words!).

     And with my treasure of the moment (my  thaali .., hindi waala thaali!), i head towards a table,which is located right in front of the previous counter (where i got the cotton-mithai-type-chapathis)..the guys literally wonder-struck, luking at the south indian thali on my hands! lots of interesting expressions on their faces.

     Question marks, exclamation marks and lotsa stars! (quite obviously, a 5 feet tall high-school-kid looking girl, fully covered with winter wear(almost like an eskimo), walking all alone with a plate of meals; does attract spectators! To add to it, a company's tag hanging like a...needless say what! No question of this gal with a boyfriend too!  -- ignore the last stmt, just came through...outta emotions -- age problem!).

   Alright, so I was at this table, happily gobbling down the contents of the plate. And the previous counter guys' eyes stuck to my plate (wonder whether they were waiting to see how much from that plate would make way into my mouth(ultimately stomach)!

  Just forgot the rest of the world for a while and filled my stomach happily! (whoever watched the scene of me hogging the food, must have confirmed at least this - that m a Brahmin!).

...
...

  Finally! With 5 chapathis (incl.those 3 cotton-chapathis ), 2 subzees, tomato baath, and CURD-RICE inside ; I felt strong enough to conquer the world! Looked around in relief, the tzp-ishan-style, only to find the two cotton-chapathi guys puzzled! Didnot  bother...

  Disposed the plate, carried my bag, relished a beautiful evening of bangalore, and then headed towards my aapice building!.......

  Landed at my desk, again un-noticed!

  It's 9:30 p.m now, and m just waiting for my log out time:)


------------------  the end ---------------------------

Come back to the moment:

Conclusion:

1) Corporate life has started pinching me:)
2) The best company you ever have in life, your 'SELF'!
3) Congrats to KE4! and BBSR folks, i have (finally) started to mind my own business:)
4) Looks like another chapter of life,  has begun...Let's see....! B-)

Gone are the days, where half-a-laddu was shared by 16+1 nincompoops!...B-)


Cheers,

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Roller Coaster ride!!

Well..This post would be just 'Plain text'..in the sense, that i won't be EXPRESSING  my emotions here! Will just  jot down things, without mirch-masala! AS IT IS!


To introduce to this post, let me inform you that, I am into a new team(company), and m the only newbie here:P. I was lucky enough to get a chance for a trip with the team, on the same week(In fact, just 3 days after my joining!). A trip to Pondicherry(Pondi from now) . Initially, was apprehensive. Later gave into the plan! A good opportunity to explore, after all! And a chance to break the newbie-seniors ice too! (m the only newbie in the team, plus the age-gap, n lotsa gaps, to be frank!).  So, here's 'My Version' of the trip...Read on








Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Reply to ALLLLLL!!!!!!

This one's completely my crap:D:D:D..Absolute craziness..Read at  your own risk



Neyz a bit of introduction to this:  Just a fun thing, when a friend mailed a bunch of ppl, and we played around with the "reply-to-all" option (i assume you guys r aware of t option:)). Just that we are now separated by distance since months, and this thing felt as if we are sitting together in a group and having fun:):P..and i ve messed it up like myself!!:D:D:D..Well, ther you goooooo.....

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Monday, May 24, 2010

Random thoughts


Randomn thoughts…

To NOT confuse you guys. This is just a small compilation of the random thoughts that I get, while travel, while at work (in no particular order). Apologies, if you are not able to make sense of them:)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Sneak peek into the mystic world..

-->
   A Sneak  peek into the mystic world..

   It looked like an ancient era, post Budhdha!! Three travelers (all girls) reached what it looked like a sea-shore, in a mystical blue twilight, just before sunrise. At a distance, sat a huge Statue of the Budhdha, in a posture similar to Lord Shiva’s (a meditating posture). The travelers had come with a knowledge that the peak of Statue was reachable! Adjacent to the Statue, there was a hill (almost as big as the Statue itself. Looked as if a part of the hill was leaning against the statue) And at the peak of the hill, there was a closed semi-circular dorm resembling a prison cell. It had two windows on opposite sides , each of which had closely spaced iron bars, spacious enough to let lean people penetrate into it. With great excitement, the travelers climbed up the hill, and reached the dorm. Now all these travelers were lean enough to sneak in the cell, and so they entered one by one, through the window. Now to disappoint you (as well as myself), I would say that there was nothing remarkable about this dorm, except that it offered a spectacular view of the surrounding. From one side, you could see the horizon where the sun was just about to wake up; and from the exactly opposite side there was a forest spread as far and wide, as your eyes could view.There was comlete silence. Each of the three travelers was just enjoying ,in peace, the scenic beauty that that moment was offering. None spoke to the rest.  And all of a sudden came violent roars, from almost near the base of the hill….

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Nostalgic

 "Didi, i am missing my friend a lot. He left for Africa today."

"Who' s that?"

"Ken. He went back today:(.......awesome guy he is going back to Africa. i am gonna miss him:( "

"Oh poor chap:( Is he never gonna come back? You will be touch through mails atleast right:)..cheer up"

" He used to tell me so many things about how beautiful his place is and stuff..its good in a sense, he hasnt seen  his family for 3 years, was missing them badly, but the sad thing is he wont come back for 6 months now:(.."

"Oh..only for 6 months rite? He ll come back na..just wait:)"


       -----and this conversation ended abruptly..i didnot know how to console him, i could understand what he was going through; but i couldnt do pretty much to cheer him up. I compared his plight with mine......

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Tribute to the legend...

  Again..while on the way back home, in the bus..I was listening to radio; when something i was waiting for since morning Happend at last!  "Nadhamaya 101.3" - an sms from a friend. At once I tuned into the station, and.....instantly i went into trance.!!Automatically my eyes closed, i started snapping, and my legs tapping. After a long time, I was listening to this song. And was amused to find that the song created the same magic, it used to, every time i heard it.!! My heart wept out of intense joy. Beautiful song, beautiful voice. A soul-cleanser. Takes me to an entirely different world, that of tranquility, peace, meditation!! A song that raptures your soul and penetrates deep within you. The flute, the veena, the mridangam blent with the Ultimate voice  - the voice of the Legend, Dr. Rajkumar.


Wednesday, March 31, 2010

On that rainy evening...

On that rainy evening...



     Last night, I got stuck in the rains. Experienced the usual Bangalore traffic in the night (yesterday it got denser, coz of 'anjaneya jayanti' ). Rains! Otherwise, its wonderful to play around during the rains. But when it comes to travelling back home, in heavy rains ; the feeling is awful, disgusting! Thanks to the song 'hosanna' (jo meri kaano me baj raha tha, coz i heard the song around 20 times in the day!!) - i was in a fairly good mood while going back home(which is a rare case). Else commuting in bmtc buses during peak hours,(in the evenings) pisses me off!! For a while, in the bus, i listened to music on radio. Thanks to my (rarely appearing) absent-mindedness, i had forgotten to charge my mobile and the battery got low (so i had to switch off the radio too!!). I was left with no work now. Just took out my book, and tried 'by-hearting' the lyrics of hosanna.(i love doing crazy,freaky things). it's sooo difficult to grasp tamil songs!. I gave up. Only hosanna ka tune kept ringing in my mind.


Sunday, March 14, 2010

part-2...When i met her...

....After a hectic week, full of assignments and late-night returns to our abodes(of course, cz of the assignments); we all were looking forward for a break of 2 days. Not really an off from work-place. We had our soft-skills training scheduled for the next two days. And through sources, we got to  know that a lady was going to handle the 2-day session for us. All of us heaved a sigh of relief . It were a tough 2-3 weeks, with only gentlemen  handling our training(we did get bugged of them, it's really a turn off sometimes seeing only gentlemen all around you, showing extreeme professionalism, made-up fake smiles(smiling only because some god-damn book/seminars on 'professionalism' asks you to keep 'smiling' at work-place!!Given an opportunity, i would write a book on when NOT to smile!!)). Being away from home, and no motherly figure around, nobody to smile at u affectionately - had felt like coming into an unknown island. We all were waiting for her to turn up(of course, the guys were more than eager!!;))...

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Friday, February 26, 2010

How do we meet them?Part-1..

Hi..

      Perhaps by now you all might be knowing(if not, then now u would get to!) that i hav been leading an extremely 'mechanical' life off-late..With the most of my free time being hogged by travel to-fro home-office; i dont get to introspect, contemplate ( and whatever word you may want to add here--something which means 'spending time with i-me-myself!'(to kis it)). Though this was not the topic of my discussion here, i just wanted to mention it - coz i just decided 'why not use my travel-time for introspection and thinking life'!



**thats all about my out-of-the-topic stuff**



     "Almost" coming to the point now : just two or a day ago, while on the way back home; a question shot into my brain like from no-where!'how do we meet people'??i mean how do we REALLY meet them? Has god created any algorithm or a procedure for that?or some logic behind whom,when,where and how you gonna meet in life??

      And from that very moment i started relating myself to every person i saw..A strange feeling - a feeling implausible...I mean..really strange.Weird. Daily you come across hundreds of strangers, "new faces","new lives","LIVES", for just fraction of seconds...and just after a while, they go!!And there are few among those, whom you instantly relate to, even if you dont know who they are!And there are people, who transpose from being a stranger to a jigri dost. And then there are people - like this...i mean like this guy...



Saturday, February 13, 2010

State-lag!!

State-lag!!!

     Well. It happens to anyone who’s travelling from India to US!!(now don’t go too deep into the statement and don’t try to act smart by saying that it happens GENERALLY when u travel from one country to another!I know tat!)..heard of JETLAG ???


Friday, February 5, 2010

Happy Days..

 Well...

This post has got nothing knowledgeable, and no information as such. It's the last day at the BBSR office today for me..




korukunna kori kalavaalanna…
cheruvaina cheyi kalapaalanna
chedirina kala aina viduvanu gadha naina…
chalinchanee eee….oooooooo oooo kshanaleke oooooo ooo
happydays…. happydays…….
happydays…. happydays……
happydays…. happydays…..


:):)
Cheers....

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Team '09

     Now, if you read this post; then you might conclude that the author of the post is a completely unpredictable chap on earth. Nobody knows how circumstances play with emotions and feelings.

     Under the same title 'Team 09', i had plans of writing a post describing my current team here. Saying that each one is a "sample" piece on his own:P. But just now, just an hour ago; i got to know - that m gonna come back to B'lore in just few days. And there's a battle of emotions in my brain.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Loner in a crowd....

      Well..last two days were kind of 'void' days of my life. And why i mentioned that was , because i was missing all the people back in bangalore. Life's really strange. Not that i am not happy with the life here. Things have been so good, so far ; here in Bhubaneshwar. Lots of changes, having gala time, learning lots. But i was missing people back in bangalore. Do people really forget us, when we are not present around them? OR have they changed ? OR do they feel that we have changed ? I dunno.