The Long Run

She woke up early in the morning, much earlier today. She put her regular track suits on, and stepped out of her rented apartment, for the daily run – without disturbing her roomie. Where was she heading to? Only she knew.

It was a summer morning, and the sun had woken up earlier – at 5, as if to accompany her. For a change, she chose to have a run across the hilly terrain that was close to a mile away from her apartment (she could view this terrain from her bedside window, and had always wanted have a full run till the peak - dream run – she called it)

****

She was neither an athlete nor a Sports person. Running was a childhood interest that she had picked up again, a year ago. ‘Doctors have asked me to’, she said to anyone who were curious about her regular morning run that she hardly missed, since she had re-started it. It had turned more of a meditation for her than just an exercise – this was the only route that lightened her up and made her feel like a child – everything else – seemed unclear, confusing, undecideable. Of course, she was one among the millions of 25 somethings – who were in the same league!

Are you ready? – she cocked her eyebrows and looked at the highest point –as if challenging herself! This would be the longest run of her life – her dream run! She would be leaving the city in another week….forever.

***** 

After a 5-minute warm up, she started the jog. As she continued the run, her mind started reminiscing memories of the last four years of her life spent in the so-called most happening Industry-hub. She ran, feeling the same feel that she had the first day she had entered the city - her first job, her first steps into a glamorous world, her first pay, her first independence, her first ‘work friends’. This was an easy run, as she passed through a clear path. This path was where most of the folks stuck in groups around, taking comfortable morning walks. There was a slight breeze – birds had started chirping sweetly. Everything was fresh, pleasant.

She continued running further - droplets of sweats oozing out of her forehead pores now. The road further was now little narrow – the place where the walking groups split – people who preferred ‘comfortable’ walks did not prefer accompanying the ones who wanted to go further. This was the only way to the peak.

Here, her run got a little careful, she could see from a distance, that a bushy passage was coming up – while her mind parallely played pictures of the next phase that was filled with a string of lessons on the other side of blind trust, respect, seemingly helping people & money; a phase totally unexpected she had to deal and lead her life with. She started sweating profusely, breathing heavy - her pulse rate got higher. She was getting little exhausted now and she wanted to take a break. A second thought – ‘no regrets later’ pepped up her spirits and she moved on to run further towards that bushy passage - at the end of which her mind had pre-calculated the ‘break time’.

  Just when she looked around to distract herself from the pictures she did not want to remember – she came across a pleasant looking figure smiling warmly at her. There was a déjà vu feeling when she glanced through his eyes. ‘Ignore’ – she instructed herself almost immediately, and passed by him to enter into the bushy passage. She noticed that the bushes around were quite thorny, and she slowed down her pace.

The music player – her running companion – happened to play the lines ‘no man, no cry’ from one of her high-school favorite tunes. Back then, in high-school, it was just for the music that she admired this song; she did not know the line would apply to her in a short phase later in life! The lyrics led her to some other myriad of thoughts – that of judgements and doubts – disturbing her entire purpose of the run. Some kind of an anger crept in her mind. The song was over, and the player moved on to play much better numbers which she had not noticed – yet she was thumping her legs - was she running towards her dream, or running away from something else..all alone? She felt lonely…for the first time. Her run, all of a sudden seemed irrational!

Lost in deep thoughts, just when she was losing her focus; a thorn scratched her hand, leaving a cut and slight bleed. The prick had just brought her back to the present, and a sudden realization of her original purpose of the run. ‘Judgements can do that’ she said to herself…continuing ‘a thorn is very much needed’ as she let go off the string of thoughts that followed. Her aim was to reach the top, not fret over phases of life and doubt her prime goal. She was almost towards the end of the thorny passage. Thankfully, she had not stopped running, despite the disturbing thoughts that took over her mind for a few seconds!

She was out of the thorny passage, her heart beating upto her throat. Drops of sweat were showering down from her forehead. Her moist  limbs now felt the mist and the cool breeze that was blowing as the sun rose further.

 She slowed down to walk and then stopped for another warm-up. This was an illusionary peak of the terrain. She closed her eyes and stretched her arms to feel the waves of energy that the run so far had brought into her. Just then she sensed the déjà vu feeling again. She opened her eyes and found the same figure, giving the same warm smile as he entered the same passage, from where she was just out.

She glanced back in confusion, ‘twins maybe’ and at once turned to look at her distance-meter that displayed 1.5 miles – she had covered three quarters of the terrain. Coincidentally, this was the latest target that she had achieved, from over a year of practise, no wonder, she managed to accurately time her ‘break’ rather instinctively!

The peak looked close to another mile of run. It was this ‘extra mile’ that would bring a whole new difference to her life – her dream! There were hardly a couple of people around. The thorny passage had filtered down the number of people from coming up..

She finished her final warm up, and changed the music to a meditation tune to stay as focused as she could be. She did not try to answer the thoughts that asked her ‘will u be able to do it?’. ‘One leap of faith, at a time’ – she had prepared herself mentally as she leapt her way to the peak..

The ‘extra mile’ was the ‘I,me,myself’ run. Her focus was neither on the peak, nor in the last four years she had spent in the city. It was just in the ‘present’ that she focused on. Her breathing got heavier, as she marched forward step-by-step. Her body felt a sense of exhileration. Nobody had chosen this peak for her, it was her run – her lone determination – her own dream. As she reached close to the peak, a strange sense of joy sprang out of her, a joy that was lying as an undercurrent for a while. She felt as happy as a child would in her very first run of life.

Victorious as she felt – the peak invited her blessedly as if waiting for her since eons. She slowed down again at the peak, and finally stood still, her palms holding her her knees..her eyes scanning the ground. She was again sweating profusely, the drops that mixed with tiny droplets that trickled down her eyes. She felt at peace, when she sensed every cell of her being beating out in glory. She felt a strange sense of belonging here – the feeling that shed all of her inhibitions and doubts her own mind had, about her dream run.

After basking in the glory of reaching the peak, she stood up took a view of the world that looked tiny now, held her hands on her waist and said to herself – ‘What next?’

She felt the same déjà vu feeling that now was somehow in sync with the feeling of peace she felt within herself. She looked around…

‘Hi. Varun!’ – it was the same tall figure, who walked upto her this time and extended his hand to her, looking straight into her eyes, with a warm smile.

She stared – blank, with eyes wide open, like a child – thinking what to say.

‘Aage saath chalen?’ – he continued, continuing his smile too.

Her heart was already beating faster, droplets of sweat were already trickling down from her forehead. Her breath had already gone heavy. She just had run the longest run of her life - all by herself….or was it because of the tall figure standing right in front of her?

Will he try to change the direction of my run further? Or be my company to the way I choose further? – she had to play the balance.

‘When in confusion, trust your instincts’ – she assured herself.

She was just about to smile back, when something felt like gnawing the prick on her cut hand..

__________________________________________________________________________________

…'Eeeks'..She woke up, startled, with slight pain in her hand. It was her phone vibrating, the edge of which was touching exactly the spot where the thorn had pricked her the previous day, on the hilly terrain.

 The screen displayed, ‘Varun calling…’

She received it, letting out a sigh...looking outside from her bedside window...talking nothing.

‘Wake up, kiddo. Dreams again!’ – there was that same old warm smile at the other end, she could sense.

‘Hmmm..good moorningg..i’m awake’ – she dragged; slowly waking up from her dream. A draggy morning note with a sigh - invariably meant that she had had a dream – he knew that, he knew her.

‘Get up, get ready..go to office. Just one more week to go..and then saath chalna hai’ – he tried to flirt.

‘hmmm’ – she replied and they continued the mushy conversation , till she was fully awake and he, asleep.

With close to 12 hours of time-zone difference between them, they had this unsigned pact of waking up the other, when one was winding up the day – that continued daily for almost seven months now, ever since they were engaged to each other. The wedding was just a month ahead. This was her last week in the city she had spent four long years of her career – her first four years after college life; and was returning home to get married, and settle down to where her husband would..