23 year old Swapna was strolling at the man-made walk area of
her corporate office campus. She was the lone support for the day in the
midnight shift. There was one more hour to go for her 3.00 a.m. log out and then
an hour of journey on unknown lone roads, way back home. The roads she never
knew directions of – inspite of having travelled them for months now.
The walk-area was a circular route connecting all the other innumerable glass-buildings inside the
campus. Innumerable – was purely her
notion, she often felt lost and dazed inside simplest of the glass buildings;
this campus was comparatively huge!
‘join us for chai?’ called out Arim , a regular graveyarder from
another team on the floor, out of courtesy.
‘aaj nahi, thanks’ – this brand new glamorous world had
taught this to her rather faster, of what
a ‘chai’ meant in the midnight!
She stood near the compound that faced the main roads and
stared at the building that stood in-progess right in front of her, across the
road. The world waited for the construction to get over, this was going to be a
brand new shopping mall tentatively called the glitz mall – a place to hang out during breaks and time-offs – just
a road cross away. To her, it was just a road cross to and from - yet another dim,
vague world.
With point-blank mind, she continued walking, looking at the
stars. That world felt much familiar than the world she was physically in – she
was amused - still looking up the sky.
Just when she was sky-gazing with a slight cheer on her
face, a 28’ish year old woman bumped into her. Swapna instantly felt some
warmth with the woman’s presence.
‘heyaaaaa’ – cried out the woman, in a tone too loud and
confident for a midnight. Swapna noticed a beautiful tattoo in her left arm, a
design she could not identify, nevertheless it was an impressive one.
‘hellooo’ – Swapna in a humble tone.
‘I see you often with your teamies, you walking alone today?’
‘low staffing. I am the only one till 3?’
‘ah..i see..i know..holiday week’ – there was energy in
every word the lady spoke.
‘by the way, whats your name’ – the lady continued.
‘Swapna’
‘oww…I too am Swapna!’ – both were startled. The 23-year old
was rather, happy. She seldom felt so, ever since she had entered this world
that never failed to suffocate her.
‘Well, I had always felt like telling you this, never got
the right chance, now it is’ – the 28 year old woman was bubbling like a kid.
The 23-year old was surprised. What would a stranger have to
tell her at this point of time?! Nevertheless, she agreed – someone to pass
some time with. Moreover, she admired every aspect of the woman, for some
unknown reasons
‘well this world might seem little weird and totally glitzy
n glammy, but it aint that bad either’ – blabbered the woman.
‘huh??’
‘the glass buildings?! ..the sky-rising stuff...the
make-ups..and the glam? Everything that ain’t seem natural, rather..real?’
‘aaah..i get it’ – the 23 year old was rather uncomfortable
with the candid talks of the stranger. But she was more blown out by the woman’s
charisma, she let her continue.
‘I know you don’t feel a belonging here…many feel so.’ – the
woman’s voice had depth now.
Swapna could hardly believe, the woman was speaking out
Swapna’s mind! She looked into the woman’s eyes.
‘then why does it
exist!’ – Swapna blurted out like a child. If this woman was a deity or a
statue, she would have knelt down, yelled and poured out to her hearts content.
‘well..i don’t have an
answer! But thank it does – to fill some of your needs atleast!’– replied the
woman with a curt smile. That was Swapna’s truth indeed!
‘I don’t feel like
myself anymore.. this is someone else’s life that I’m living! Where is my world? Where are they?’ – cried Swapna again, not
knowing herself as to who were ‘they’, not even realizing what was she blabbering.
The woman cool-headedly took the girl’s cries. She seemed to
know what was running in her mind.
‘You know. Sometimes
you just need to do what feels just the right thing to do. You may not like it always’
– asserted the woman. She sounded rather strong, although light, in her
words.
Swapna’s half-matured mind failed to comprehend the woman’s
words. Nevertheless, she hung on, just because the woman’s presence felt warm –
the warmth that somehow made her feel good. She looked much more happier than
Swapna was! The woman's tattoo seemed to attract her more!
‘as if I have a choice’
– Swapna softened down
‘Responsibilities are
not burdens. Your time will come’ - the woman smiled again.
‘its just a part of
your journey, a process. Not the end at all! You do need to tread rough roads to reach a
beautiful end. An all-smooth journey brings no fun, no adventure, you see’ – the
woman spoke in a pop-philosophical way, raising her brows. She seemed to mean
what she was talking, all the more quite shrewd in her tone.
The 23-year old felt pleased. The woman’s words were doing some change into her
brain – was it her words, or was it the way she had expressed them – she did
not know. All she felt was – an admiration – a lighter feeling – on hearing the
woman’s words.
'why am i Never able to figure a way out?'
'why am i Never able to figure a way out?'
‘Dude! Find your way within, and then see the world outside
you..you will find them..you wil find your home’ – the woman assured, as she
pressed Swapna’s shoulder. The words mystified Swapna, although they seemed apt
at that moment! Swapna blinked.
‘Find your way within’ – the woman repeated with a shrewd
tone, this time poking the girl on her arm.
‘Find your way within’ – the woman’s voice seemed to echo,
her poke felt endless.
‘Find your way within’ – the woman seemed stuck with her mantra,
that now confused Swapna..her arm started to hurt..
……...
‘Dude! Its 2: 50 am already! you need to go home!’ – it was Arim again,
poking Swapna for the last 5 minutes trying to wake her up.
Swapna breathed a deep breath out. ‘Thanks, buddy’ – she
thanked, pressing her forehead. It was time to leave.
A trail of tasks in
the day – running around for her brother’s admissions, a list of bill payments,
a long travel to her work, a half-broken sleep, some desires unaccomplished – had taken a toll on her – throughout the day
she longed for someone who could take away all the burden off her, make her
feel free.
‘Thanks for the
wake-up call…I wanna go home!’ - half-sleepy,
half-awake, repeating the woman’s words. Arim was already gone!
Before she set out towards the glass building’s basement,
she took out her phone and clicked a picture of her name-board that read ‘Swapna K. Thomas’. She packed her bag,
boarded her cab, and started yet another journey on the roads she could still
not identify with.
‘you will find them.’
- the words still mystified her as much as the unknown roads did! who are those 'they'
‘Find your way within..’ – the woman’s words kept ringing in
her mind…who was that woman, by the way? – she wondered, but the thought of her still amused Swapna. the woman was all that she was not at that moment, yet so admirable, sso familiar!
Epilogue:
…and here comes the DA bridge – you said take the 3rd
left from under the DA bridge, 2nd
right from the Minar’s grocery store, 5th building from the Golden
Villa under construction – and here’s the Club!! How many times have you been
here – lady? All the way from a 35 kms drive!
‘just once, Matty’ –
Swapna looked with an attituted at her beau. The couple was heading for a party, just a month
before their wedding.
‘..and you were like Bingo at it! Someone said you are
pathetic at glass buildings and routes! Who the eff said that..’– Mat made fun
of Swapna’s own words, as he winked.
‘I don’t know – honestly’
– the 28 year old Architect kidded.
She grinned as she browsed through an old album in her phone, that of the name-board that bore the name of the girl she was, 5 years ago - Swapna K. Thomas -
Mat held her hand, and gazed at the enchanting tattoo on Swapna's left arm.
