The Day when everything went...

     It was too gloomy for a Friday. Bangalore weather had got somber and chill, and made the Bangaloreans think of just the pillow and the bed. To add to it, Krishna had an Interview at 9.30 am. He was back home from [over]work just in the midnight; and all he needed at this hour was just some peace of mind and a peaceful sleep. He was deprived of both, at that moment..

      It was 10 minutes before the interview schedule. He was seated at the reception, waiting for his host's call.

     This was just a chance he was taking - a custom, worldwide in the Corporate world, for the obvious reasons! Considering all the bizarre events that took place while riding his way to the interview Venue, he needed little time at least to collect himself (if not for a sleep!).

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    ...Half-sleepy - he had run into a No-Entry path on the way and was fined for it. In trying to cover up for the time he had lost, he sped a bit and dint realize that he was on a water-clogged road due to heavy rains the previous night. A car had just passed by with a greater speed and had splashed on his Interview attire! He abused the moron and cursed him...the car had already left!

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     "Dude! what's up? You here?..I mean..good to see you!" - Kris looked up..startled! It was his colleague Kevin, who also had come for an interview! Kevin was equally embarrassed.

     Kevin and Kris - once upon a time buddies - were the most talked about competitors in the team.   The higher authority had succeeded in drilling out both the 'resources', terming each one as a 'potential project lead'! The rat-race had just damaged their 'buddy' status, and had created a professional tiff between them. Nevertheless, they maintained a cordial rapport. Discussions were on as to who would get the Promotion. This was to be announced on the same day..


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    The team had assembled in the Meeting Room. This was one of those rare meetings which had some meaningful Agenda and everyone was looking forward for it. Both, Kevin and Kris were done with their Interviews for the day and were well on time at office. None spoke about the interview.

     'And finally its time to announce the Rewards and Promotions, something you have been waiting for, quite a while now' - spoke up the Ops Manager who was assigned the task of announcing the quarterly  rewards and the promotion.

     If it were a promotion, this would be the first one for Kris in his career. Ditto! for Kevin as well! The only difference was - Kris was yet to receive even the quarterly rewards. Inspite of being appreciated for work, and being called as a 'potential frontrunner' - Management had not rewarded his work till date. Was it a sheer overlook - a business tactic ? Or some lapse in communication? - he never understood...

     4 rewards were announced, one by one, in the team of 25. None of the K's names were mentioned. Kris kept up his hopes though - waiting for the big announcement!

     'And I am pleased to announce that we have a new Project Lead this year, replacing Miss Uma earlier this year. And that's none other than - Kevin D' Souza'


....The world came crashing down for Kris. For a couple of minutes, he felt like a loser. This was the first time, this kind of politics had pinched him. Theoretically, he was not new to it! But when reality bit him, he felt the pinch. All the efforts of 2 and a half years..all the appreciations he had received..started feeling meaningless! He wanted to just run out of that place. He felt an alien to the place where he was seated. Nothing made sense...

    He was not completely shattered. He  just needed some time to collect his feelings and digest whatever had happened in the day. At that moment, he was carrying a very heavy feeling...nobody noticed it..except for one colleague..


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     It was 11pm already! Kris did not realize he had spent the last half an hour gazing at the blank red sky, until he found that his cigarette pack had exhausted! It was almost an end of an unusual day, the night started getting equally cold. Kris moved to the floor, to pack up..

Team had already left for the day, except for that one colleague..who had noticed him...Kris was surprised..and obviously a little happy!

     'Nisha! Why you stretching so late..on a Friday!! ?'

     'Had some pending work' - she lied, with a smile and a soft tone.

 
    Nisha was a Simpleton, highly matured girl in the team - little naughty, and equally shrewd at work. Nothing went unnoticed out of her sight.  Like Kris n Kevin, Nisha too - had some 'frenemies' ..some rather nasty ones. But unlike the guys, she hardly made a noise about it and chose to concentrate on 'Constructive things'.

   In a very short time, Kris and Nisha had shared a great bonding with each other. He admired her simplicity. He always liked her way of handling things and people, even when pointed out at - something that he never was able to do. He admired the simplicity she carried. He liked her way of looking at the 'Bigger Picture' of things. He admired the smile she carried along. Secretly...he loved her...

     Though Nisha was comparatively new to the team, she very well understood the dynamics that had existed. She was one of the 4 awardees. However, she very well understood what Kris had just gone through, and knew he had deserved the better!

    'How will you get back home? Taking the cab?'

    'I thought you have come by bike?' - she winked.

   'Shucks..My bad! shall I drop you home?' Nisha was already heading off towards the parking area at the basement, with his jacket and the helmet in hand.


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   It was drizzling. The midnight hour was just descending. At the highway, on the way to Nisha's place, was a 24 hour Cafe Coffee Day - a place where the team often chilled out during peak work times, for a break. This day, it was only the 2!

     'Cuppa coffee ? Perfect start for the weekend!'  - offered Nisha [knowing the obvious response].

    'Sure',  replied Krishna, with no expression..rather too exhausted to give any expression. 'perfect weather too' - he said to himself.


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     The song 'Tum ho toh' from Rock On was playing in the Cafe. Kris was all silent at the table - a very rare scenario, considering his very jovial  and optimistic nature. Nisha did not complain.

     'So, how was your day today? You seemed little lost' - she knew what was going on. He knew she was just playing up. There was no need to explain.

     'They have a knack of terming absolutely anything as Smart Work. Anything!' - laying emphasis at the last word, he shrugged.

     'SMART WORK!' - she uttered, and giggled.  ' a term most abused in this world'  - she continued.- 'Come on, this is not the end.. and you know that...  after a pause...A day will come when even dry nurses will be termed as Smart workers'. - Kris had laughed for the first time in the last 24 hours. She finally managed to put a cheer on his face.

     Kris just looked at her smile. He still got an urge to kneel down and say to her all that he had been wanting to. But something in him, just dint let him do so. It was the 'loser' label that he had given to himself for the day...that had shadowed him..that had almost convinced him this was just not the right day!

    After a bit of gossip and humor, the duo decided to call it a Friday. They walked towards his bike, Kris doing a bit of talking this time. Nisha silently nodded to whatever he was talking, without paying much attention. Suddenly, it seemed as if she was waiting for something.

      They went near the bike. Kris dug into his Jacket pockets for the keys, when he found a paper note wrapped inside. He took out the paper and opened it. Nisha gazed at him, with her smile a little more lightened up..waiting for the obvious reaction. Finally, he came across the note that she had dropped inside his Jacket pocket, while in the basement back at the office; without his knowledge. The note said -

'How long will you keep me waiting you Idiot. I LOVE YOU! - Nishy '

     Another thud fell down at Krishna's feet. For a minute, he felt like he was seeing some dream! Without his consciousness, he walked here and there for a couple of seconds, wanting to shout, not knowing what to say, what to do! His joy knew no bounds! Nisha captured every gesture of his and just gave her characteristic naughty stare at him.

     He knelt in front of her, holding her hand and finally spoke his heart out! It felt as if all the bizarre incidents had been planned; Only to reveal the surprise that was awaiting.

     'Nisha...I...I....' - tried to collect his thoughts and speak it out! he was choking out of excitement.


     'And you lost this chan...' - he did not let her complete the sentence.


Damn the reward and promotion he had lost in the day! Damn the politics and ugly manipulations!And anyways, there was always another chance!

The real reward was right there...into his arms, embracing him...The chill midnight weather, was just perfect...


Cheers!














   

Stagnated

Sunday evening...

It’s a big confusion in my mind. The fake lives around haunt me. The whole lot of  things I read to counter-attack this boredom, confuse me! I feel pressurized. One – of all the negative feelings dumped in me cz of the external factors. Two – of all the preparations I do and the thoughts I force myself to think, to counter-attack the former! Its Pressure – from both ends.

I just want to stay peaceful, healthy – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is all I ask for. Are these thaat difficult to achieve?  I just want a reason that keeps me smiling every minute from within. Is this too – a challenge? I want to be strong, content and happy enough so that I can stop myself from measuring others’ worth against mine. Is that something I need to strive too hard for? I just want to celebrate little joys of life – with family, friends, near n dear ones. Is this too little, rather, too much that I’m asking for from life? I just want to pursue my dreams, without disturbing the lives of people around me. Have I committed a crime by wanting to do so? Isn’t this something any ‘life’ is meant to do – prove his existence? I just want that one Love to reciprocate to me. Isn’t that YOU have created that special someone for all the lives on earth, or by any chance, forgotten to consider me…? I’m just feeling stuck…i dunno what to do..i dunno what m i doing..I’m just waiting…

He couldn’t pray that evening. He had knelt down on a bench in the church – to pray. But all that came to his mind were thoughts of these kinds. He did not dare to look up at the altar – else he would break down. He silently wept…

He was lost in deep thoughts. Life seemed to come to a standstill. Career did not show signs of growth. He was over worked. Lethargy had taken over all the time of his weekends. His future plans had come to a halt. Finding a girlfriend was out of question. Duties started to feel like a burden. He was stuck in the vicious circle, in the tug-of-war between dreams and commitments. He had shut down from his social world. The world seemed to have just no meaning. He'd started to lose confidence in himself. He just kept on waiting, and he dint know...for what.

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Just when he was thinking about things that were absolutely not happening in life, someone patted on his back. Startled! He turned to find out it was Vinay – the 15 year old lad, all set to give his Board exams.

“Prayer karne aaye ho?”

With a little false smile – ‘haan, beta’

‘arrey! Tumhe kya prayer ?’

He raised his eye brows in surprise with a light smirk, thinking of what to reply and before he could, the boy continued -

‘yaad hai prelims k time bola tha – Life will throw bigger challenges at you, only to make you stronger. Board exams kya cheez hai’ and a bright smile shone on his face. He continued – ‘dialogue kaam aya, boss. Mera saara tension door’.

This got him feeling amazed! He nodded, and then just when he was about to say something, the kid disappeared.

“Life will throw bigger challenges at you” – he recollected.  ‘Probably, this is one of those – feeling stuck at every area of life’ – he shrugged.

     He sat still on the bench, plainly looking at the altar, NOW with a little smile on himself. My words had really worked – and his smile grew little wider. Not bad - he thought.

After a few minutes, he heard some footsteps beside him, as if someone was approaching him. He turned aside and almost jumped out of joy.

‘MA’AM!!!!’ – he whispered at the loudest of his voice

‘SShhh! Quiet you kiddo’ – she replied with a big warm smile. It was his icon, one of the trainers from his very first company, who had delivered brilliant modules on Soft skills. After switching couple of companies, he had lost her contact. He did made several attempts later, to get to her. He tried hard, in fact. However, as his phase of quarter-life-crisis started taking reins of his mind – he eventually had forgotten about her. Now, after a long gap, he found her …

“So, I had told you not to give up your hobbies and do spend time for it. You used to played excellent guitar. Hows it going?” - she asked.

A sense of pang rushed through his nerves. He was thankful – at least he remembered what a guitar was, even if he had not played it since long!

She sensed the pain in him. ‘But you guys need not worry. It’s a mandate phase.  I have gone through it myself too. At that stage, you shouldn’t be giving up pursuing things that give you peace - your hobbies; dreams that are independent of all external factors. Remember to count your blessings daily, my boy’ – and went away with the same warm big smile.

Just after the lady went, he saw a man resembling his late grandpa approach him - 'Always remember this. When you feel stuck in life, walk along with time. Time never stops, though circumstances do!' These were the same words his grandpa had said to him, in his childhood!

And then one by one, all good things that had happened, all the good people he had come across, started passing by him - reminding him of all the wonderful things he had experienced in life!

Whats is going on by the way - he thought.  is this some sort of evaluation of my 'good deeds' versus 'bad deeds'? ...Gosh!  M I dead?!! I haven't lived  yet!!

He was just about to rush to his room, when he saw a boquet of flowers with a smiley card on it – ‘the one I gave it to my Princess Charming on her birthday’! [Princess Charming was a 7 year old little girl, the youngest in a nearby School and Home for the homeless. He used to visit often; but hadn’t visited since a while].

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The very thought of Princess Charming, woke him up from the deep slumber he had gone into, for a couple of minutes, while weeping.These few minutes, looked felt like ages! The stagnant feeling seemed like just a small passing cloud, in the midst of all the good things he had seen in life!

He looked at the idol – inside the altar - with gratitude! Something spoke to him – ‘When you feel stagnated in life, count all your blessings and move on. Life’s just giving you time to prepare for the next big positive thing. Chase yourself, boy!’ – this was perhaps his own voice, perhaps, the collective voice of the people he'd just dreamt of, or perhaps, the idol's!

Everything seemed to fall in place – the tears, the people, the memories of the conversations he had with them, the good things that he’d done – and also -  the voice that spoke to him!

He immediately took his bike and drove to the Ice cream shop.

‘Boss, tu yahan?’, Vinay - his classmate from school - whom he had dreamt of as a 10std kid just a while ago.

‘bachchon se milkar bahut time ho gaya, beta’

‘ohh k k..theek hai theek hai..Princess  Charming ko batana Vinay bhaiyya ne yaad kiya, phir kabhi aaunga..aaj ek call hai yaar,  firangi k saath – ghar se lena hai. Chal phir milte hain’. He waved his hand as Vinay drove towards his house. 

same old, same old – he thought.

‘Life will throw bigger challenges. Toh phir yeh kaunsi bala hai’ – Vinay shouted as if he'd read his mind.

‘saale tu bhoola nahi is dialog ko’ . Vinay had already gone...

With boxes full of ice creams, cookies and all the goodies – he rushed to the School which he had not visited for a long time. The kids remembered him. Princess Charming had grown up a little. There were tears in their eyes – of joy, this time! The kids greeted him with warmth that he had missed since a while, he reciprocated too. After a lot of merry-making, screaming and shouting, it was time for bhaiyya to play some music.

He took out his guitar and played all the numbers that were famous among his gang of kids. The kids demanded to play some New tracks that had become hits during this gap phase. He couldn’t play those – for reasons obvious! He promised to learn them though, and play the next time he visited.

Soon, the evening grew little dark and it was time for kids to get back to study. He was not wanting to go back, neither the kids. But, the inevitable had to happen.

After making promise of visiting the kids regularly and giving them good-bye kisses, he rode his way back home. Shiva’s Rhythm and Dance School - he halted, to check out for the Guitar sessions. Enrolled himself for a weekend batch, with no second thought - only for the kids - a sense of joy sprang from inside.

He had already started to feel better, a feel of getting hold of his life back. After dinner, he just flipped through the pages of a book he had started few weeks ago, and came across the lines that read –

 its not the question of how happy and content the world makes you feel  - what really matters is – how happy and content do YOU make the world feel!

Ah! He had found answers to almost all of the questions that he’d asked. He no more cared to think of the life that seemed stuck. Fretting over things that did not work out, did not make sense any more. Things dont get easier by just worrying about them - he thought. All he cared about was - the life that was in his hands, in his control. There was no looking back now.

He immediately logged into his Social networking Site account and sent across a public message to his friends, asking for his Trainer's contact. This time, he was determined to meet her!

*******************

Monday morning….

It was the same old desk. The same old people. The same old job and the same old targets. The only thing that was missing was - Worry - and this was replaced by - Hope! Remember – when you are feeling stuck, its just that life’s giving you time to prepare for the next big thing coming your way - it was the same voice.

He smiled, and continued with the task at hand…

Cheers,

Swatz

Random Thoughts - 2

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Okiesss…..So after a Looong break of Nothing in this space; I finally arrive here to scribble something. Actually, this post is ‘as-good-as-nothing’, manifesting itself as ‘at- least-something’…[ee line nanagu artha aglilla bidi]. Saala facebook ne sara blogging ka maza jala dala; isliye facebook se bhi break lena pada.




Well, on the inspiration from the ever-increasing sequels; here I present a sequel to one of my favourite posts, a space that tolerates my freak-outs, vent-outs and possibly all kindsa thoughts – Random thoughts.  [click the hyperlink to get into the first post]

Enjoy madi… B-)

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Celebrating ‘Fort Minor’ Day…jusssss ssooo lovin’ t songs …B-)


In the path of achieving your dreams, Remember
-what your mind first says, Believe in it!
-what your mind says next , think over it – maybe the other-side-of-you has got some valid inputs!
-what your mind says for the third time, ignore it – cz its considering someone else’s thoughts …not yours!


Now I know the definition of ‘Struggle period’ – its nothing but the period between feeling ‘totally-out-of-place’ and that of ‘peace-with-everything-around’!!

Well. It’s amazing to observe that ladies in Saree are so fondly looked upon and greeted! That doesn’t happen when the same lady is in jeans! [experience from Women’s Day 2012!]


When the mind is weak, situation becomes a problem;
When the mind is balanced, situation becomes a challenge;
When the mind is strong and positive, every situation becomes an opportunity :)


Dedicated to all Bad Number 8055s:
Shiva Antha Hogutidde floornalli
Sikkabatte kelsa Ittu ‘Pending’ali..
Ardha folder ‘Unread’ ittu inboxalli…
Nee Kande Side-inali..:P
...{spoof on a popular Kannada song}

Now I know the reason why the Bhagavad Gita STARTS from "Dharmakshetre"!


Dilon mein tum apni
Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum


There are few people who just don’t look smart! They only don’t LOOK smart!


Read this in some book – “It’s a strange fact that humans spend their health in making money; and then spend the same money in re-making their health!” On a same note, I’d say - “Strangely, we humans so easily ignore our priceless gifts in the run for things that come with a price tag” (do I need to define the ‘priceless gifts’?)


Flip-karting is infectious!


The trick is to spot the liars who lie Confidentally; and not trust them! [learning this chapter on Psychology :D]


It's just the 'eye-candies' that you see on your floor; that makes your Aapice life, liveable!


Who am i? where am i? what am I doing? Where do I belong?


I’ll do the Walking! …:P


Aye khuda, mujhko bata..tu rehta kahaan kya teraaa pataa…


There’s something called as ‘Dreams’…and then something called ‘Aspirations’…then something called as ‘Commitments’…and then ‘Duties’…then ‘Hope’…and then ‘the Mind’…and then… ‘CONFUSION’…!

Open, that mind...Walk Alone....
Be not Afraid, Walk Alone....


Worries start...the minute you Stop talking to yourself :-/


There are a certain type of forces that apparently make you feel comfortable, but actually are trying to ruin you. These forces are sometimes called as ‘frenemies’…and sometimes… ‘Laziness’ :-|


How I wish the Big B had sung all of our high school Hindi poems so melodiously. arreyy..ratta maarne me easy pad jata yaarrrrrrr….[ refer: 'ekla cholo re' from Kahanhi']


It's healthy to have an eye candy, wherever you go! Some randomn strangers just hold an unknown reason for you to Smile!


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This will continue...atleast until part - 3 comes :P Got some random striking thought in mind? Go ahead, scribble it out :P. dont keep it in mind B-)

Cheers,
Swatz......